


Your Name and Kiss Belong in the Same Sentence

by crescendohowell



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Teenagers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-04
Updated: 2017-03-04
Packaged: 2018-09-28 08:48:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10082093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crescendohowell/pseuds/crescendohowell
Summary: Neither Dan or Phil has ever had a boyfriend before and they think that part of the reason might be because nobody even realises they like boys.  So, as best friends do, they decide to pretend to date each other, that way at least it’s obvious they aren’t straight.  And with an agreed upon set of boundaries, nothing can go wrong.  Right?





	

Dan and Phil had been best friends for what felt like forever. They had grown up together, in houses only a few blocks away and couldn’t remember a time where they hadn’t known each other. They had always been Dan and Phil, their names never separated.

Everyone had warned them that friends often grow apart over time, especially as they moved from middle school to high school. For some reason people seemed to think that there was no way that the two boys could stay as close friends as they were forever.

Luckily, that wasn’t true at all. Because now it was their senior year of high school and if anything they were closer friends than they had ever been before. Sure, they talked to their other friends at school and hung out with them occasionally, but nine times out of ten it was just the two of them watching movies at each other’s houses or playing videos games or doing homework. It wasn’t that they didn’t like their other friends, but they didn’t really feel any need to hang out with them outside of school. When it was just the two of them there was never any drama. 

It was one of those nights that they were hanging out with just the two of them at Phil’s house that Dan brought up something they didn’t talk about much. But that was later in the night. For now they were just throwing away the remains of the pizza they had for dinner and settling in on the couch to watch a movie. 

“What do you wanna watch?” Phil asked as they sat in the same spots on the couch that they always did, Dan on the right of Phil. Neither of them really knew when those positions had been established but now they were completely natural and any time they didn’t sit in the same spots something felt off.

“I don’t know, you pick,” Dan didn’t look up from scrolling through his phone until suddenly a pillow hit him in the face. “Hey!” He exclaimed.

“You say that every time!” Phil, the pillow thrower, complained.

“I’m being flexible.” Dan argued.

“Yeah, and it’s so helpful,” Phil said sarcastically.

“I trust you to always pick out the good movies.” It was true, they did have very similar movie taste and Dan almost always liked the same ones as Phil.

“Fine,” Phil sighed, “Maybe I’ll just pick a bad one to annoy you.”

“You do that,” Dan laughed, knowing that Phil hated sitting through bad movies even more than him.

They did eventually settle on rewatching the first Star Wars movie. It had been a while since they had watched it and it was always a good time to laugh at the old fashioned special effects. They would have to go see the new one in theaters when it came out.

After the movie they decided to head to bed as they were both plenty tired from waking up way too early for school all week. Besides, they both knew that they would end up spending hours scrolling on their phones and talking before they actually went to bed.

They had done this so many times by now that everything was practically already set up for Dan to spend the night. Phil had a big bed so they could both sleep there and Dan had a drawer in Phil’s closet where he kept a couple pairs of pajamas and other clothes. After they brushed their teeth (Dan’s toothbrush already sitting in the cup next to the sink along with Phil’s) they closed Phil’s bedroom door and turned off the lights, diving under the covers and laughing because it was late and they were tired and at a certain point in the night everything always becomes funny.

It was even later, when their phones had been plugged into chargers next to each other, and they were laying in the dark, talking sometimes and sometimes not, that Dan brought up an idea that he had been thinking about for a long time.

“So you know how I really want a boyfriend?” He began.

Phil laughed. “Yeah, same. Or a girlfriend honestly. Somehow living that bisexual life has still got me zero dates.”

“True,” Dan laughed too. “But nobody even knows that we want boyfriends. Or in your case a girlfriend I guess, but that’s already assumed so it’s really only the boyfriend thing that’s a problem.”

“Yeah,” Phil agreed. “It’s dumb.”

“I agree.” Dan replied. They had came out to each years ago now but had never really bothered telling anyone else. “So I was thinking, and feel free to tell me that this is a dumb idea, but what if we pretended to date so that we didn’t have to do that whole Coming Out thing and then once people realise we like boys then we can break up? At least then any guys will know that we’re interested in their gender. Maybe we’d have at least slightly more of a chance of getting a date then.”

“I mean, I’m not opposed to it,” Phil said carefully; he had actually thought about something similar many times.

“It’ll be like Josh and Nathan last year,” Dan added. “Everybody thought that Josh was straight but when they started going out nobody questioned it.”

“True,” Phil did remember that. 

“We don’t have to, or anything,” Dan repeated, making sure that Phil didn’t feel forced into it. “I just thought that it might be easier. I mean, we’re practically dating already. I’m not even sure what we’d have to do differently.”

“We’d have to hold hands I’d imagine.” Phil had been going over what they’d do as a couple in his head ever since Dan had first mentioned the idea. “Maybe kiss a couple times.” Phil almost stuttered on the word kiss. Kiss and Dan had never been in the same vicinity. They weren’t supposed to be. Phil didn’t know how he felt now that they were possibly going to be very connected. All he knew was that the idea made his heart jump up into his throat and his hands warm.

“That wouldn’t mess up our friendship though,” Dan interrupted Phil’s thoughts. “We’d be fine, even if we had to kiss, right?”

“After all these years I’d sure hope so,” Phil joked to hide how unsure he really was. He really liked the idea of pretending to be a couple, he just wasn’t convinced that things would be able to stay the same. But now that Dan was offering, Phil really wanted to say yes. So he did. “I say we go for it.”

“Really?” Dan hadn’t really been expecting Phil to agree.

“Really.” Phil couldn’t believe he was saying yes. 

They didn’t jump into it or anything. Actually, neither of the boys brought it up for a couple days. Phil had begun to think that maybe it was nothing more than late night rambling and making plans that they followed through on. But then, the following Wednesday, when he was over at Dan’s house doing homework, Dan brought the topic back up.

“So do you wanna go on a date or something?” Dan asked, half joking. He was sat on his bed, working on his computer while Phil sat as his desk.

“Um-m,” Phil stuttered, taken completely off guard as one moment he was struggling over calculus and then next Dan was saying that.

“Kidding,” Dan clarified. “I guess,” he gave a crooked smile as Phil turned around his chair to face him. 

“Yeah, I don’t really know how to start this whole thing either,” Phil felt nervous for some reason, but he didn’t quite know why.

“Maybe we should set some boundaries?” Dan suggested. “That way we both know what we’re getting into.”

“Yeah, that sounds like a good idea,” Phil agreed. He always liked planning things out. “So, where do we start.”

Homework was pretty much forgotten after that, as instead the two boys came up with and actually wrote down a list of all the things they could and couldn’t do. 

Hand holding and other casual touching was allowed. So was kissing, so long as it didn’t involve any tongue.

“But what if our friends are there and we need to convince them we’re properly dating?” Dan asked.

“Fine, maybe tongue is okay then,” Phil agreed. It felt odd to talk about this sort of thing so casually. It was as if they were planning out their romance. Which really was what was happening.

Phil requested that ‘nothing too sexual’ be a boundary, to which Dan argued that was too unclear but it got added anyway. There would be no telling their parents about their plan, coming out to them would have to be done separately.

“Are we going to be one of those gross couples that posts about each other constantly on social media?” Phil wondered.

“I mean we kinda already do that babe,” Dan laughed.

“Shut up,” Phil blushed. “No calling each other babe, I’m adding it to the list.”

“How about sunshine?” Dan countered. “Honey? Love?”

“I hate you,” Phil groaned.

“Now that’s not the way to talk to your boyfriend.” Dan teased.

“Oh my god, why did I agree to this?” Phil leaned back, covering his face with his hands.

“It’s cuz’ you love me!” Dan said, still teasing.

“Yeah, as friends,” Phil peeked through his fingers at him. “What if this goes wrong somehow?” he got serious for a moment. “What do we do then?”

“The second one of us wants out we say so,” Dan stopped making fun. “Even if it’s in the middle of all our friends. If you’re ever uncomfortable we’ll stop.”

“Yeah, okay,” That made Phil feel better. “Like a safe word or something.”

“True,” Dan smiled. It was a little different from an ordinary safeword but in some ways it was really the same. “What do you want it to be?”

“How about I just call you Daniel? Or you call me Philip if you want to call it off. We never do that so there shouldn’t be any times that comes up unless we want it to.” Phil suggested. “And that way if we’re around other people it won’t be hard to work into the conversation or anything.”

“Sounds perfect.” Dan was fairly certain things wouldn’t end badly, but having a way to get out of everything made him feel even more confident about the whole thing. “Now back to the kissing…”

“God, I hate you.”

The spent the rest of that afternoon figuring out the final things and adding to the list. Phil considering making both of them sign it to make it some sort of formal agreement but Dan managed to convince him that their trust was enough to guarantee they would follow what they had written down. All they really had to remember was to make things believable but not go further than that. 

However, it turned out that writing things down on paper was a lot easier than actually going through with any of it.

The first issue was that neither of them quite knew how to annouce they were dating. They were already such close friends that if they just hinted at it people probably wouldn’t even notice. So they needed to do something that clearly showed how they were a couple. Something that their friends could see but that that didn’t make to of big of a deal out of everything.

“What if we start holding hand at lunch?” Dan suggested as they were driving to school together two days later. Or more accurately Dan was driving like he always did and Phil was getting distracted staring out the window and trying not to get motion sick.

“But that could be considered friendly.” Phil pointed out.

“But really? I feel like our friend group wouldn’t think that. I mean none of our friends now hold hands.”

“But none of them are as close as we are.”

“True,” Dan sighed. “Goddamn, if we weren’t already such a married couple this would be so much easier.”

Eventually, the boys decided that holding hands was a good start. Hopefully one of their friends would ask or make a joke about it and then they could say that they were dating. It seemed simple enough.

But that didn’t explain, when it came time for lunch, why Phil’s heart was suddenly beating out of his chest and his palms were sweating just at the thought of walking into the cafeteria holding hands with Dan. Right now he was walking to meet Dan outside his history class, so it was giving Phil plenty of time to overthink what they were about to do (though really he had been overthinking ever since they decided that today was the day on the car ride to school). Phil just really hoped that this went well. He wasn’t sure why he cared so much, but he really wanted it to.

“Ready?” Dan interrupted Phil’s thoughts as he emerged from the classroom, quick to stand right at Phil’s side. “We can still back out.” Dan added when Phil hesitated.

“No, no, I’m fine,” Phil insisted. “Let’s go.” He took Dan’s hand in his.

It felt much more natural than they both expected.

In fact, by the time that they got to the table they always sat at with their other friends at lunch, Dan and Phil had both forgotten that they were even holding hands in the first place.

“Oh my god,” Louise’s exclamation made them suddenly remember. “Did you guys finally get your act together and start dating?”

“What do you mean get our act together and-” Dan started.

“Yes,” Phil interrupted, elbowing Dan slightly. “We did.” He smiled as he looked fondly at Dan. Phil was trying really hard to make this whole dating thing believable.

“I’m so happy for you,” Louise beamed. “Lord knows it took long enough.”

“True,” Phil agreed, as him and Dan both sat down at the table and began to get their lunches out.

“So how exactly did you guys do the whole shift from friends to dating thing?” She asked.

“We were just talking one night,” Dan finally spoke up. “And we realised that we were basically already dating, just without the kissing bit I mean, and we figured that maybe adding that bit wouldn’t be such a bad idea.” 

“You guys are basically a married couple,” PJ chimed in.

“We were just talking about that this morning.” Phil laughed.

“Well I’m glad you guys figured it out. We were beginning to think that you were both so dense there was no chance you would ever realise how you’ve been mutually crushing on each other forever.” Louise said.

“Yeah,” PJ added, “We were beginning to think that you guys didn’t even realise that you had a crush at all.”

“True,” Louise laughed. “Okay, but now can we talk about the math test because I have that next period and I need some math facts fast if I’m going to have any hope of passing.”

So telling their friends that they were dating went well. Actually, maybe it went too well. Because both of them couldn’t stop thinking about how their friends had assumed it was real easily because they figured they had had crushed on each other for ages. And that wasn’t true. Of course not.

Besides, this whole plan wasn’t really about their friends. Dan and Phil had both figured that their friends would not be surprised about the whole not straight thing. But the goal of this whole plan was to make it known around the school about this whole not straight thing. That way there would be more of a chance of them getting dates. So even though they had told their friends they were dating, that was only the beginning. And somehow they needed to come up with a plan to spread it beyond that.

Luckily none of that needed to happen right away and they were able to spend the rest of the school days as they always did (in classes that were painfully never together and texting the whole time to make up for it). After school they drove home together and decided to hang out at Phil’s house from that afternoon. It wasn’t so much of a question of if they would hang out or not, but rather where.

They ended up settled back in their spots on the couch, this time playing video games instead of watching a movie, and the afternoon flew by. Afternoons like this, Fridays when it was just autumn enough to justify not going outside, were some of Phil’s favourite in the world. He figured that video games and comfy sofas and sitting just close enough to have their knees brushing together was the best type of happiness in the world. And Dan would be inclined to agree.

“Dan, what are we doing?” Phil asked. It was much later now, bedtime actually. They were both under the covers in Phil’s bed, just as they had been when they first came up with this plan. Late night conversations were always the easiest place to talk about things.

“What do you mean?” Dan stared at the ceiling, his eyes wide open even though there was nothing to take in as the room was drowned in darkness.

“I just…” Phil started before trailing off. “I can’t help but feel like this isn’t going to end how we’re planning. It seems like things like this never do.”

“We’ll be fine.” Dan quickly assured (even though neither of them quite knew what he was reassuring about). “We’ve been friends far too long for one failed plan to ruin us. Besides, how many of our plans have failed in the past?”

“A lot of them!” Phil protested.

“But we’re still here.” Dan proved his point. “None of those have ended our friendship, so I don’t see how this one would.”

“Yeah,” Phil agreed. “That does actually make sense.”

“Of course it does, I am very smart, you know,” Dan joked.

“And that’s why you have a C in English right now,” Phil replied back.

“That’s just because Mr. R doesn’t appreciate my sense of humor or writing style!” Dan tried to defend himself.

“Sure,” Phil said sarcastically, grinning since Dan couldn’t see him. Really, he did agree with Dan - he should have an A in the class - but it was much more fun teasing him about it than saying that.

“We should probably go to bed,” Dan mentioned after glancing over at the clock. “It’s getting late.”

“Yeah,” Phil had noticed the clock a couple of minutes ago but he hadn’t said anything. He always hated having to stop talking and going to bed instead. He was getting really sleepy though, so maybe it was time. “You’ll still be here in the morning, right?” He asked. That was something he said every night that they were sleeping over at either of their houses. Because when they had just started being friends, when they were little kids, Dan had left a sleepover in the middle of the night, and Phil had been really confused when he wasn’t there in the morning. So now it was their joke that he always asked.

“Yeah,” Dan replied, smiling to himself. Now he would never leave in a million years. He felt way more at home here, in Phil’s bed with him, than he did back alone at his house. “I hope you don’t snore.” That was Dan’s part of the bit because that was the reason he went home when he was little, he had been scared of Phil’s soft snoring (if it could even be called that as Dan now knew it was more of a slightly heavy breathing - a breathing that he had come to memorize).

“I would never.” Phil replied, smiling to himself. “Goodnight Dan.” He added softly.

“Night,” Dan turned so he wasn’t looking at the ceiling any longer and closed his eyes. “Love you.”

“Love you too.”

So yeah, maybe the dating was a little confusing, at least for now, but this was easy. This was when they both felt most at home. There was no way that they would ever break it. Not when Dan curled closer only a few moments after saying goodnight and neither of them moved away.

They continued to keep up the dating thing around their friends and when they walked between classes together sometimes they held hands. It was just enough that slowly but surely the word began to spread around the school that they were dating. It was just like they had planned. Everything was working without any problems.

After about two weeks went by Phil began to think about if it was was time for them to “break up” yet. Because they had achieved their goal - people knew they were dating and given that information, were no longer straight - but for some reason Phil didn’t feel like it was time for them to be done with this fake relationship. He reckoned that people probably didn’t really think of them as couple, some probably still thought they were friends. They still needed to do something to cement their non-platonic status (or at least their fake non-platonic status). Besides, they had to wait a least a couple more weeks before breaking up if this was going to seem like any sort of real relationship at all.

Of course Phil didn’t really have any idea for what they should do for this whole confirming they were a couple thing so he decided to ask Dan about it.

“True, we do need to do something,” Dan agreed. “But I don’t know what.”

“Same,” Phil sighed. They were in Dan’s room, and Phil was laying on the bed while Dan sat at his desk attempting to do homework (at least that’s what he had been trying to do before Phil distracted him with this much more interesting topic).

“What’s something that normal couples do?” Dan wondered aloud.

“Kiss.” Phil shocked himself by saying it aloud, but that had been what they were both thinking.

“Yeah, they kiss,” Dan repeated back. He was glad he was facing the wall opposite his desk because he didn’t want Phil to see the way his face grew warm at even the mention of kissing.

“I mean we’ve both kissed girls before,” Phil tried to make it seem like less of a big deal. “How different can it be really?”

“But you’re attracted to girls too,” Dan pointed out. “I’ve never kissed anyone I actually like that way.”

“But you don’t l-like me that way,” Phil stuttered slightly on the words for some reason. “So it should be pretty much the same.”

“I don’t know if that’s quite how it works Phil,” Dan almost felt like laughing.

“Yeah,” Phil admitted. “I know.”

There was a moment of silence then as they both thought about what to do.

“What if we practised first?” Phil suggested. “That way we’ll know what to expect going into it. And you can pretend that this doesn’t count. Your first kiss with a guy can be the next guy.”

“Or it could just be that my first kiss with a guy is with my best friend. It’s that whole your first kiss should be with someone who really cares about you shit.” Dan’s cheeks were really red now as they continued to talk so casually about kissing. But the more that they talked about it, the more than Dan became certain that for some reason, he really wanted to kiss Phil.

“Yeah, or that,” Phil agreed. He really wanted to know what it would feel like to finally kiss a boy too. He had always thought that Dan had nice lips (even if they were always ridiculously chapped).

“We should still do that whole practice thing though,” Dan added. “And then we can just casually make out at a party or something.” He joked. Thought really it didn't sound like as much of a joke as he intended.

“Did you wanna practice now?” Phil asked. He felt like his heart was jumping into his throat.

“I-I guess,” Dan finally turned around to look at Phil. “Might as well.”

“Might as well,” Phil repeated before starting to giggle. “What a great reason to kiss someone. Might as well.”

“Shut up,” Dan started giggling too. Really the conversation had been much too serious and suddenly neither of them could stop laughing. “God, maybe the real reason we can’t get dates is cuz’ we’re too big of dorks.” Dan said once he could finally stop enough to talk.

“True,” Phil agreed. “None of the boys will ever want to date us.”

“The only date we’ll ever be able to get is each other.” Dan joked.

“Yeah, maybe we’ll just have to date.” Phil smiled (though a universe in which him and Dan were dating kept becoming easier to imagine).

“But, actually,” Dan brought the conversation back to the topic at hand, “Should we practise now?”

“Sure,” Phil tried to sound more confident than he felt, his nerves from before instantly returning.

“I’ll come over there?” Dan said, it coming out as more of a question than a statement.

“Oh, yeah,” Phil sat up and scooted over so that there was room for Dan to sit on the bed next to him.

When Dan sat down the mattress sank slightly, and they ended up sitting closer than intended, but neither of them made any effort to move away because at this point that seemed rather pointless. Their arms brushed together and Phil felt like his arm was tingling there. Meanwhile Dan could barely breath, half from the nerves and half from the smell that sitting so close to Phil brought. Because Phil always smelled indescribably good, like warm and strawberries and the scent of boy (in the good way) and they were both silent as these thoughts raced through their heads, thinking about what they were about to do.

Realistically, the both knew that one kiss wasn’t going to ruin their friendship or anything. Plenty of friends had probably kissed before. But for some reason it felt like this was more than that. Only it couldn’t be. Because they were just kissing for practise for their fake relationship. It couldn’t mean anything because if that was true it would mean that at least one of them was falling for the other and unlike a simple kiss between two friends, that was something that could likely ruin a friendship. So this couldn’t mean anything. It wouldn’t.

But Phil’s skin was already tingling and he was thinking about how nice it would be to hold Dan close, his hand tangled lightly in his hair. Or maybe his hands would be on Dan’s back, pulling him closer.

Dan was thinking about how Phil was probably really good at kissing, as Phil was really good as most things. He thought about how it would feel to finally kiss a boy. He had been waiting for this for so long. He had never expected that it would be with Phil, but for some reason, it didn’t feel wrong that it was.

“So,” Phil broke the silence that felt like it had been going on forever when it had really only been a few moments as all the thoughts flew through their brains. “Should we just go for it?”

“Sure,” Dan internally swore because he wasn’t ready at all, but this was as close as he was going to ever be. And even though the thought of kissing was terrifying, Dan knew that he wanted, needed, to kiss Phil.

So one of them, later they would never be able to remember who it was that finally did it, leaned in slightly and their lips were pressed together. And it didn’t feel wrong at all.

Phil ended up putting his hands on Dan’s back, his fingers curling as they gripped onto his shirt. And Dan loved the way that felt, but not nearly as much as the actual kissing because holy fuck he was kissing a boy and it felt so much better than he had ever imagined and all the things he had been worrying about for years were validated.

Their lips moved together softly until they absolutely had to break apart to take a breath. Both of them couldn’t stop smiling afterwards and Dan was so cute Phil couldn’t resist giving him one more quick kiss.

“Well,” Dan started before stopping because he was smiling so much and his heart felt like it might burst so he couldn’t quite get the words out.

“Yeah,” Phil agreed, equally as breathless. “Maybe we should do a little more practise?” He said, only half joking.

“Just a little friendly kissing.” Dan teased back, but he was mostly serious too.

“Why not?” Phil smirked.

“Why not.” Dan echoed back before leaning in to kiss Phil again. 

And somehow it was even better than the first.

Luckily, it was only a couple days later that a perfect opportunity came up for Dan and Phil to put this new practice into action. The girl that Dan sat next to in english was having a party and somehow during one of their conversations about it, Dan got him and Phil invited. Most everyone from their grade was welcome, so it wasn’t the invitation itself that was a big deal but rather that it would be the perfect chance to be seen as a couple by people that they didn’t necessarily sit with at lunch.

The party was set to be the following friday (when the girl’s mom was out of town) so they still had a little time to wait. Neither of the boys minded much though as that meant they weren’t moving closer to the inevitable “breakup”, which both of them were beginning to dread for some reason. Also, it gave them more time to practise. After all, practise makes perfect.

Yet, soon enough it was the night of the party and Dan was arriving at Phil’s house to pick him up so that they could drive there. He tried to text Phil to get him to meet him in the car, but Phil texted back frantically that he still didn’t know what to wear so Dan reluctantly got out his car and made his way to Phil’s front door.

He walked in without knocking as that’s what they always did whenever they were at each other’s house - as long as the front door was unlocked they could walk right in.

“Phil,” Dan called out, as he wandered down the hallway towards Phil’s room. “Come on.” He complained. “Just pick out goddamn shirt, it’s not that hard.”

“Oh says you,” Phil swung his bedroom door open to let Dan in. “I’m sure you’ve had that outfit picked out for a week.” He wasn’t wearing a shirt yet, only his black jeans, and it seemed like all the shirts he owned were scattered on the floor.

Dan didn’t really notice the stuff on the floor though. He was too busy trying not to stare at Phil’s bare chest (and miserably failing) to really see anything else. “You’re giving me far too much credit for advance planning.” He managed to respond to Phil’s comment about his clothes.

“Oh yeah,” Phil mused, “I forgot. You’re the type of person who can do everything last minute and still manage to somehow be both flawless and on time.”

“Just barely on time,” Dan countered.

“True,” Phil smiled. Normally he had to be the one stressing out and pushing Dan along to make sure they got out the door at the right time. “What should I wear though?” Phil brought the conversation back to his predicament.

“I don’t know,” Dan shrugged, “You look good in literally anything, I don’t think you need to put this much thought into it.” He said without really thinking. “Besides, if everything goes how we want it to people will be concentrating on the fact that we’re dating more than whatever clothes you finally put on.”

“Okay, fine, if it’s that easy why don’t you just pick a shirt out for me.” Phil replied.

“Sure,” Dan looked around on the floor at all the clothes scattered there for the first time since he had walked through Phil’s bedroom door. “Wear this one.” He handed Phil a black jumper with constellations on the back.

“Of course you pick the black one,” Phil pointed out as he took it from Dan’s hands.

“You look good in black.” Dan felt almost disappointed that Phil was putting on a shirt at all, but he always looked stunning in black so that made it at least slightly better.

“I thought you said I looked good in all colours,” Phil teased, his voice muffled as he was midway putting the jumper on.

“Shut up,” Even Dan would admit that his friendly flirting was a bit more obvious tonight. “Are you ready to go now?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Phil grabbed his phone off his bed and put it in his pocket before roughly slipping on some vans that he could tie in the car. “Let’s go.” He walked out into the hallway with Dan following closely behind. “Oh and Dan,” Phil turned around so quickly that Dan almost ran into him. “For the record, you always look good in black too.”

“T-thanks.” Dan managed in reply.

“You’re welcome,” Phil smiled his normal goofy smile before turning back around and continuing towards the door. 

The drive to the party didn’t take long, especially with them blasting music and singing along the whole way there. Before going in they decided that Phil would be the designated driver considering he hated the taste of beer to begin with so he wouldn’t mind the not drinking as much. They also decided that they would just do the whole kissing thing when it felt right. That was why they had practised after all, so that it would look natural when they had to do it in front of other people.

The party was full of people that they recognized from school but most of them were already more drunk than either of the boys planned on getting. There were plenty of couples making out too, so at least they wouldn’t be out of place later.

Neither of them really knew what to do but the loud music was pretty good and soon enough someone offered them drinks that they both accepted (even though Phil knew he wasn’t going to drink it, the person offering seemed excited enough that he hadn’t wanted to offend them by saying no). On the other hand, Dan was glad for the surprisingly cool beer that actually tasted pretty decent after a few sips. The taste wasn’t even important though as it helped with his nerves and that was what really mattered.

Dan wasn’t even sure why he was nervous. He didn’t have a problem with people knowing they were dating or really even with the fact that he was going to have to kiss his friend again. In fact, he was kinda looking forward to it, Phil was quite a good kisser. So why was he nervous?

“Shit” Dan muttered when he realised it.

“What?” Phil heard him even over the loud music because they had never moved more than a few inches apart since they had gotten there.

“Nothing.” Dan quickly replied.

But really everything was wrong. Because Dan wasn’t nervous. He was excited. The feeling in his stomach wasn’t one of anxiety, but rather anticipation. Dan was looking forward to being able to kiss Phil again because yeah, Phil was a fucking great kisser, but also because Dan wanted to be kissing Phil all the time, like you would do with your boyfriend. And they were boyfriends. Only none of it was real. And Dan had fucked it all up by catching feelings. Shit.

It made more sense the more he thought about it. Their friends had been right all along, Dan had been too oblvious to even notice his own feelings. God, Dan began to realise that he had had a crush on Phil forever.

But if their friends were right about him, maybe they were right about Phil too. Maybe they were right about their mutual attraction.

But Dan couldn’t let himself think that. He couldn’t give himself that shred of hope because if it turned out to be wrong he knew that he would be destroyed.

Yet Dan couldn’t bring any of these revelations up know. They were still at the party with the loud music and the now empty beer gripped in his hand. Phil was still standing next to him, their arms brushing and wait, they were holding hands? Dan didn’t remember that starting. Suddenly the room felt too hot and Phil was too close and Dan felt like the world was spinning around him.

“You alright?” Phil asked again, concern in his eyes.

“Yeah,” Dan leaned in even closer to talk to him. “Just thinking.”

“Thinking is where you run into all your problems,” Phil teased fondly, referencing the many occasions in which he had to talk Dan out of the crises he thought himself into.

“You’re right,” Dan felt like laughing. Phil was always right when it came to him. Besides, there was nothing Dan could do now and he had just discovered that he had huge crush on the person that he was supposed to be kissing soon. And for now, maybe that wasn’t a problem, because at least for now, Phil wanted to kiss him back. “Do you wanna do the thing?” He asked.

“The thing,” Phil smiled. “Yeah, I’d love to do the whole kissing thing.” His eyes crinkled around the edges.

“You’re so cute when you do that,” Dan said as he set the beer down and his hand made it’s way to the side of Phil’s face, his thumb brushing gently next to Phil’s eye, where it was lined with happiness.

“You’re just cute all the time,” Phil replied, leaning in to kiss Dan before he could respond and any words Dan might have come up with were caught in between their lips.

Dan’s eyes fluttered shut as he leaned into Phil. The loud party around them that had been making him light headed only a moment ago quickly faded away and doon Dan was feeling dizzy for a completely different reason. Because now Phil’s lips were moving against his like they had been doing this for years and fuck they should have been doing this for years. Kissing Phil felt better than anything else Dan had even done and if he could, he would kiss him for the rest of his life. Dan would stay in that crowded party with Phil’s arms wrapped around his waist with their lips moving against each other, and he could be content forever.

Unfortunately they did break apart (though it was mostly so that they could breathe). When they leaned away from each other Phil noticed how Dan’s lips were a darker shade of red than normal. He liked the way it looked. He liked the way that it was from them kissing. Knowing that it was from him felt almost better than the kissing itself.

“You’re good at this,” Phil said, not making any motion to move away from Dan. They were still close enough that he could feel Dan pressed up all against him. Phil’s hands gripped the fabric on the back of Dan’s shirt, low enough that they were practically at his jeans.

Dan wished Phil’s hands were on his jeans. “So are you.” Dan replied, tried to joke but really he couldn’t stop thinking about how fucked he was. The one beer wasn’t doing anything to calm his nerves and the realisation that everything was going to shit. And it was all because of him.

“Your lips look pretty like this,” Phil kissed him again, biting ever so gently.

Dan felt like he couldn’t breath. Everything felt like it was happening at full force and there was none of the fuzzy tinge that came from being tipsy that he desperately needed to take the edge off. Instead Phil was acting like the one with lowered inhibitions when he hadn’t touched a drink all night.

“Why do you keep flirting with me like that?” Dan asked, much more serious than made sense for being in the middle of a party where they could barely hear each other.

“Because you’re my boyfriend.” Phil smiled. 

He didn’t get it. Of course he didn’t. He hadn’t caught feelings.

And instead of letting that hurt like Dan knew it would if he even processed the words at all, Dan pulled him closer and kissed him hard. Then Dan drank Phil’s beer. And they kissed some more. The no tongue allowed rule seemed like a distant memory. And after a couple more drinks everything finally seemed fuzzy. Dan stopped thinking at all.

He stopped remembering too, because when Dan woke up the next morning with the sunlight much too bright around him, the last thing he could remember doing was taking Phil’s drink.

“Oh my god, it’s so bright,” He groaned, rolling over to shove his face under the pillow.

“Good morning to you too. Glad I was already awake otherwise that would have been even more amazing to hear,” Phil pulled the pillow of Dan’s head, his voice way too happy for so early in the morning.

“No, give it back,” Dan half heartedly tried to grab it. “I need it to mute the headache.” He closed his eyes again, the aching behind his forehead seemed to be impossibly strong.

“I can get you an aspirin,” Phil was already half out of bed before Dan pulled him back.

“No,” Dan said hurriedly, “I’m sure you already took care of me enough last night. You don't need to do anything more.”

“It’s fine,” Phil had ended up almost on top Dan when he had been so quickly pulled back into the bed. “I don’t mind,” Phil gently brushed some of Dan’s curls off his forehead.

“You’re too good to me,” Dan reached up to run his thumb over Phil’s cheek. There was stubble there, and it was unfairly hot. Actually, Phil always looked like a god in the morning, and Dan was completely aware of how he must look like he crawled through a garbage heap. That wasn’t even mentioning the whole issue of how Phil was so close while looking so hot, and Dan was desperately hoping that Phil didn’t shift at all because if he did, Dan had no idea how it would explain the fact that his morning boner hadn’t gone away and in fact, had only gotten worse.

“Hey, I get some pretty good entertainment out of taking care of you when you’re drunk so there are benefits to the job,” Phil giggled, evidently remembering something that Dan didn’t.

“Oh god, I don’t even want to know.” As long as Phil was still talking to him that was enough for Dan to not worry about it too much, at least for now. “Can you get off me now? I need to go shower.”

“That’s not what you were asking me to do last night,” Phil couldn’t resist joking as he got up and moved to the other side of the bed.

“Fucking hell,” Dan shook his head as he got up. “I’m just gonna pretend you never said that.”

“Technically you were the one who said it.” Phil pointed out.

Dan just flipped him off in response as he walked out of the room.

“Love you too babe,” Phil called after him, laughing.

Two showers later (one cold: dan and one warm: phil) they decided to eat some cereal. By some miracle Dan actually wasn’t nauseous and once the aspirin kicked in he felt fine. Phil said it was all due to his impeccable skills when he took care of him but Dan quickly made him stop talking about anything to do with the night before.

“So, did you want to do anything today?” Phil asked as they were putting away dishes after breakfast.

“Mm, nothing in particular? Why, did you have something in mind?” It was only Saturday so Dan figured that any homework could be put off another day.

“No not really, maybe just some video games?” Phil suggested.

“Yeah, sure, that sounds perfect.” Dan agreed.

Truthfully Phil didn’t care what they did at all, as long it didn’t involve Dan going home. Video games were also perfect for casually banter where they didn’t have to think too much about what they said because they both knew not to take anything too seriously. Even though Dan was somehow better at most of the games, Phil didn’t mind losing. Dan’s wide smile when he teased Phil about losing was enough for him.

“Oh Phil, look who’s gonna win again,” Dan taunted. They were playing some shooting game that Dan had brought over a couple days ago, and Phil had still barely figured out the controls.

“Shut up,” Phil didn’t even glance over, concentrating on only the screen.

“Make me,” Dan looked at Phil when he said it.

But Phil was still looking forward. “You’d like that wouldn’t you.” He replied easily. It was ambiguous enough but both of them knew what was implied.

“It’s the only way you’d ever have any chance at winning.” Dan watched Phil’s face for a reaction.

“Mm, I feel like kissing would distract me just as much as you so really it doesn’t seem like much of a plan at all.” Phil didn’t even flinch when he talked about them kissing anymore. “This seems to be working much better to be honest.”

Dan looked back at the screen to see that Phil had somehow gotten more points. “Fucking hell,” he exclaimed, immediately beginning to concentrate on the game again.

So the distraction technique of kissing was forgotten, talking about it ended up being enough because Phil won that round easily.

“I deserve a celebration kiss,” Phil joked afterwards.

“Fuck no,” Dan was always a sore loser. “Rematch. That didn’t count.”

“Alright,” Phil agreed smiling. Maybe he’d let Dan win this game, at least to make him stop whining.

They continued playing video games for a while longer. After that Phil forced Dan to started on some of their weekend homework and before they knew it, it was dinner time and Dan’s phone was ringing with his mom asking him to come home for once instead of staying at the Lesters. Dan reluctantly agreed and said goodbye to Phil with a promise to be back over later if he could get away again. It was almost weird sitting his quiet room alone once Dan left, Phil had become so used to there being the two of them there.

After eating dinner with his parents, Phil decided it would be a good time to just listen to music and chill a little. It had been a long time since he had a chance to just sit and maybe doodle or something else litter while listening to some of his favourite instrumental music. Dan used to always make fun of him for not listening to songs with lyrics but overtime Phil had convinced him that they were just as good. They both especially loved songs with good piano and cello parts.

Tonight, though, Phil chose to listen to Moonlight Sonata because it was one of his favourites. Of course that was mostly because Dan would play it on the piano for him sometimes when they were over at Dan’s house. Dan would always insist that he was no good, and Phil would try to make him see how amazing he really was. Phil wanted to tell him how the chord progression made the hair on the back of his neck stand up and his chest tingle, but that seemed a little weird to say so instead Phil just said that it was beautiful, that he would listen to Dan play piano forever. And Dan would blush and turn back to playing so that he could hide it, and the playing would be the most beautiful thing that Phil had ever heard.

This song reminded him of Dan the most though, out of all the ones that Dan played. But as Phil sat doodling a little but mostly listening, he was struck by how everything reminded him of Dan. Video games, pancakes, the colour black, kissing. And no matter how much time Phil tried to spend not thinking about what the last thing on the list meant, he couldn’t seem to escape it and the “breakup” that should have a happened a long time ago.

And no matter how much he avoided it, Phil was sure that he didn’t want the breakup to happen. He had known that from practically the moment he had agreed to do this whole thing, he had just kept it buried deep enough that he didn’t have to think about what that meant. Only now without even spending any time on the matter, Phil was suddenly certain that he loved Dan as more than a friend. 

With that realisation Phil could feel his mind begin to get staticy and his chest start to constrict because fuck, that wasn’t allowed to happen. The walls were crumbling around him. All the sleepovers with a bed casually shared and bowls of cereal at midnight and driving to school with the music blaring. All the close to cuddling during movies and the accidental hands brushing as the walked. It would all be gone if he messed this up. 

He couldn’t mess it up.

He couldn’t breath. 

Radio static. Everything was crumbling.

Breathe.

“Phil, oh Phil,” There was somebody taking his hands into theirs, undoing the fists that Phil had clenched them into. “Breathe, just breathe.” They said softly, counting along to the breathes.

And when Phil could finally think again, he saw that it was Dan, and he felt like he might cry.

“I told you I would be back over if I could,” Dan saw Phil’s confusion as to why he was there. “And I just walked in like normal, I hope that’s okay.”

Of course, Phil wanted to say, but he couldn’t quite form words yet. Instead, he offered a shaky half smile.

“God, I leave you alone for a couple hours and this happens,” Dan smiled back sadly, alternating their fingers together as he held Phil’s hand. He hated seeing Phil hurt like this. “How about I tell you a story?” He offered. “Maybe it will be a good distraction?”

Phil nodded. He desperately needed to think about something else. Dan was so good to him.

“Once upon a time,” Dan began smiling as that was kind of unnecessary but once Phil had told him that all good stories start with those four words, so Dan figured it was a good way to start. “There were two boys who were the best of friends.

They had known each other since they were so little they couldn’t even remember first meeting. Their moms told them that they had met at the park when they were babies. Or maybe they had just been born already knowing each other. Maybe they had come from the same star.

Whatever the case, they had been best friends forever. They knew each other better than they knew themselves in almost every way. 

But there was one thing. It started so gradually at first that neither of them noticed. Until eventually, when they were in high school, it became hard to ignore.

Because you see, the two boys had fallen in love with each other. They were both quite dense so they didn’t realise it at first, but it had always been there. In the goodbye hugs, brushing hands, late night cuddling, and in the first time they kissed.

Once they did realise it though, everything made so much more sense and once they told each other nothing much changed but they were so much happier. They finally allowed themselves to be in love. And they lived happily ever after.” Dan looked right at Phil as he said the last part. He knew that this wasn’t really a calming down story but Dan knew Phil better than he new himself sometimes, and Dan guessed that it was exactly what Phil needed to hear.

“Do we get that ending too?” Phil asked quietly. He desperately hoped that Dan really felt that way.

“If you want.” Dan could feel his heartbeat pounding in his head as he waited for Phil to respond.

“Yeah,” Phil smiled. “I’d like that a lot.”

“Yeah?” Dan grinned, “Are you sure because-”

“I’m sure,” Phil cut him off quickly, laughing as he pulled Dan into a hug. Even though the shaking hadn’t quite gone away yet, Phil had never been more sure of anything in his entire life.

“God, I love you,” Dan said, his voice warm. It was different from all the times he had said it before but it so many ways it was still the exact same.

“Dan will you be my boyfriend? For real this time?” Phil had to ask.

“Of course.” The breakup wouldn’t have to happen now. “Would it be alright if I kissed my boyfriend?” Dan leaned back to look at Phil when he asked.

And instead of responding, Phil just pulled him closer and kissed him hard. 

Dan and Phil had always been best friends, but this was undoubtedly even better.

**Author's Note:**

> me actually finishing a fic?? who knew this was even possible anymore lmao (although i found 6k of this already done in my drafts from october so?? does this even count). hope it was a good read tho!!
> 
> (check out my [tumblr]())


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